Tips for raising siblings who get along

If you have more than one child, you’ll know how hard it can be raising siblings who get along. It doesn’t usually make any difference if there is a large or small age gap between them or if they are the same or different genders. Something about having a sibling – or numerous siblings – seems to cause children to argue, fight, and otherwise live in disharmony.

It can often feel as though there is nothing you, as a parent, can do to help them or yourself. Yet there are some ways it can be done, and you can help the kids to get along better, at least the majority of the time. Read on to find out what these tips are.

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Have some family downtime

One of the reasons why siblings don’t always get on together is that they have their own likes and dislikes and their own hobbies and pastimes. These don’t always combine well with what their brother or sister likes and dislikes. In fact, they could be complete opposites. Because of this, they won’t see one another that much, and they won’t have a huge amount to say to each other when they do. Rivalry and irritation can quickly grow between them.

To combat this issue, schedule some family downtime or family activities at least once a week. It really doesn’t matter what you do during this time. You could:

Play a board game
Go for a walk
Cook a meal together
Look through family photo albums
Watch a movie
Tell each other fave dad jokes
Laugh and talk together about anything and everything

Whatever you do, it needs to be done together. Even if this is the only time in the week when everyone is in the same room, it could well be enough to help the children appreciate one another more and learn more about their siblings. This will reduce the amount of animosity that could develop between them. If they enjoy these family times, they will be able to make good memories and have warm feelings towards one another.

Teach Respect

Children need to be taught respect, and that is something that parents should do as early as possible. Not only should parents teach respect, but they should model it too. It is a case of doing as I say and doing as I do.

Respecting someone else’s personal space and their emotions is something that will come in very useful when it relates to children getting on well together. Understanding this and stepping back when necessary (even if the sibling’s reaction and emotions seem over the top and out of proportion to the situation) can lead to a much stronger bond forming between the children. It is even more likely this will happen if you do the same and step away when emotions are running high. Take note of and respect what they are saying; everyone learning from you will do the same.

Siblings and family standing together in a sunny field

Don’t Take Sides

One of the worst things that a parent can do, and something they will often do without realising it, is to take sides during a disagreement between their children. This could be because they subconsciously have a favourite child, or perhaps because they witnessed the incident and think they know who instigated the problem.

The best thing you can do as a parent to help raise siblings who get along is to allow them to work out their own disagreements. Don’t get involved unless necessary. This way, you won’t accidentally take sides in any argument. You will be helping your children to discuss the problem between themselves and come up with a solution. If nothing else, this is going to be a useful life skill when they are adults.

Focus On Problem Solving

If you do have to get involved in a disagreement, don’t think about who said what or who did what to whom. Focus instead on problem-solving; anything else is a distraction. Remember that some children have an easier time when it comes to expressing their emotions and detailing something that happened. Bear this in mind; you might not get the full story, or the views of what happened could differ between the children simply because of a communication issue and not because of a disagreement.

The conflict the children are having might not really be the problem; it could be a symptom of something else such as tiredness, hunger, or feeling overwhelmed. If these problems can be solved, your children should be able to continue on together quite happily.